Family isn't about whose blood you have. It's about who you care about.

I have no interest in the upcoming Holidays. Actually it is making me nauseous. It might have something to do with the fact that the last two Thanksgiving was spent in the ER. The last time, was the beginning of the end of Nana. With that being said, it makes sense for me to not be excited. But the fact that the Holiday's started out way too early to try and get the economy back in action, makes it that much harder, that much sooner. It doesn't help being married to Santa's biggest fan either.
He is literally in heaven around this time of year.

Yesterday was spent at the mall with some of my sista's. I get a lot of shit for keeping to myself, and not spending enough "family time" with them. One of them in particular doesn't have a clue of what I am dealing with in terms of social anxiety, or the true meaning of depression, and mental illness. She is one those "don't be sad" people. Ya, it gets a little tough not hitting the asswhole button every time she calls.... er I mean text.
Every time I say no, it ends up in a fight. "I hate her", and "I never want to see her", and everything is "my fault", "I don't care about her", all of this could go on all night. I really don't have enough energy to deal with my demons, never mind hers. So I sucked it up and headed to the mall, knowing that this was the last time I would set foot in a mall until next year. I spent the whole time with my older sister, who battles her own illness (chronic fatigue, among many other wonderful things I couldn't spell if I tried). We were the only ones out of the four of us that stayed together. The two younger sisters disappeared, seperately. I got suckered into spending "quality time" with sisters I only saw for 5 min. I was there for 3 hours. And in the end, I still got shit for not wanting to stick around for lunch. I didn't even know that was on the game plan. Maybe I would have heard if you stuck around and shared in the "family time".

At least I was around as much as I could be for my older sister, she stuck it out too, even after starting a new med that kicks her ass.
Family is not exactly something that means much too me. Don't get me wrong, certain MEMBERS in my family I couldn't live without. But the word Family, and what it's suppose to represent means so little to me. Family can be more detrimental to your happiness than your own worst enemy.