I had an Uncle pass away this week, which in itself is awful. The bizarre part is that I didn't have an actual relationship with him. He was mentally challenged which limits the depth of a relationship he can have, and he wasn't someone I saw very often. My feeling were quite complexed to say the least. He was heading down a sad dark path, losing his memory, and forgetting his everyday skills. He was only 45. In no way am I trying to say that I am happy he passed, but more relieved, I guess.
How is that fair? Who would want to have a life like that. I dunno, I know each person with mental challenges are completely different. But for him, and hearing how worse he was getting, I am glad he went when he did, rather than continuing down that scary path he was on. Not only for him, but also for his mother and brother who stayed by his side just about everyday for the past 45 years.
Sitting in Mass today listening to the priest give his speech about why God choose him, and how special that makes him, and how we need to know that God has a plan for everything, made me want to rip my skin off.
I was raised Catholic, my family is all Catholic, Hub Hub's mother is just about bff with Jesus, but I find no comfort in any of it. I don't think that man, preaching about God's master plan can justify to anyone why troops are coming home in coffins, the millions of people who are battling cancer, the children that are getting kidnapped and murdered, why Nana was abused by her own son.
We need to make God watch the news and show him that his whole "master plan" pitch is full of crap.
I wished I could be one of the individuals out there finding comfort in the idea of "being in a better place", or even believing in everything happening for a reason. But I don't.
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4 comments:
have an addiction. or a child. i didn't start believing in God until Aidan was 3 and I was hospitalized for my eating and bipolar.
If God doesn't exist than how do you explain the awesomeness of Aidan?
My regrets for your dear uncle. Life can be so hard. My best friend died at age 19. It challenges all your beliefs.
I stopped believing in God when I was 12, nothing has happened in this world to change that opinion in the last 45 years.
The awesomeness of Aidan was all your doing my dear, probably with some help from his father and an obstetrician.
Also Yoyo, regrets for your uncle, life can be a bitch sometimes, but we pull through.
AV
http://netherregionoftheearthii.blogspot.com/
http://tomusarcanum.blogspot.com/
Miss Kolleen,
Thank you. Aidan is awesome, and maybe one day I will believe God had something to do with it. But right now I am giving you all the credit for the kickass kid you have.
Argentum,
The world is a tricky place my friend. I just want to find a way to take comfort when the shit hits the fan. Wether it's believing in God, Buddha, or Donald Duck.
Quack, try believing in yourself. No need for the crutch.
AV
http://netherregionoftheearthii.blogspot.com/
http://tomusarcanum.blogspot.com/
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